12: Paul Speaks To The Men

12: Paul Speaks To The Men

What’s The Episode About:

In this episode, Paul, with Stacey’s support, will be speaking directly to men, and women too, about how men see relationships. Men tend to view the topic of relationships and marriage as a feminine topic when in reality they need to know what makes a relationship work because they relate with so many different people in their lives. This episode will help in having men’s voice heard and understood, by giving women an inside look at the masculine perspective.

Paul and Stacey will also share some insights on the steps men can take to become their masculine selves authentically and really understand relationship dynamics.

Key Points Discussed:

  • A man’s thought process around relationships and marriage (01:02)
  • Masculine energy has been wired for freedom and autonomy (03:15)
  • Relationship is a human topic (08:22)
  • Misunderstanding relationship dynamics equals the 50% to 80% divorce rate (12:18)
  • We’re equal but there are differences (15:27)
  • Reacting and trying to run away from it won’t fix it (21:57)
  • The gift is for the person who takes the action (25:32)

 

Where Can I Learn More:

Get your ticket to the next Relationship Breakthrough Retreat here: http://bit.ly/rbr_podcast

When Did It Air:

July 11, 2019

Episode Transcript:

Disclaimer: The Transcript Is Auto Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors

Paul: 00:00 Hey relationship transformers. Welcome to the relationship transformer podcast. Today, I’m going to be speaking directly to the guys. And this is all about how men see the relationship. And ladies, this will give you an inside look at the masculine perspective. And Trust me, it’s very different than yours. And guys, it’s time that your voice is heard and that you’re understood. So let’s queue up the intro and dive in.

Intro: 00:26 So the big question is this; How is it possible that one person alone can transform any relationship, save their marriage, create their unshakeable love, and unleash passion, divorce-proof their family, without needing their partner to get on board and do this with them, and yet still get to be happily, authentically you without compromise. That is the question and this podcast will give you the answer.

Stacey: 00:55 Alright, Paul. So, enlighten us. What is the typical thought process of a guy going into marriage, or a guy around relationship? Talk to us about that.

Paul: 01:04 Absolutely. Now, I just want to preface this before we get into it, because you know, when we get into the differences between men and women, or masculine and feminine, there are always these people who say, “No, that’s not me.” Or… or there’s this feeling like, “Oh my gosh, you know, don’t acknowledge any differences.” Well, not acknowledging that there are any differences is where part of the problem is. But what we want to recognize is that, again, we are equal, but we’re different. So let’s look at some of those things that are different. And when I say different, what we’re saying is these are patterns. These are patterns that all you have to do is look around. Don’t take my word for it, don’t take Stacey’s word for it, look for yourself.

Paul: 01:38 And then you decide if there are differences in these patterns. So with that preface, what I’m about to say, I’m talking to the man in general. Will it apply to every single man on the planet? No. Will that apply to every single masculine being on the planet? No. Will it apply as a general rule of patterns that you will be able to witness for the vast majority of masculine energy out there? Yes. That’s what we’re talking about.

Stacey: 02:05 Alright. Well, tell us.

Paul: 02:06 All right, so you know, what’s the typical thought process a masculine being or a guy has gone into marriage around relationship? First of all, they do not take it lightly. This is not an easy decision for the average guy for masculine energy. Again, we use those two interchangeably, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s in the same body. I just want to get that out there, but nonetheless, let’s just say guy for the moment.

Paul: 02:29 So guys, don’t take it lightly. Just look around. Do you see a lot of guys who are like, “Oh, I can’t wait til I get married.” Right? Or like from the age of four, like, “Woohoo, I look forward to my marriage.” Right? No, and when they go into marriage, what happens? When if someone brings up marriage too early in a… in a relationship, right? What happens with the typical guy? Just look around at the patterns. Again, don’t take my word for it.

Stacey: 02:51 He bolts

Paul: 02:52 Just… Right. Just look around and see what happens. That’s a fundamental difference. It’s a pattern. It’s predictable. Does it apply to every guy? No. Is it something that you can look around and see? I’m betting, yes. So again, take a look around, decide for yourself, but then don’t take it lightly, right? Why? Because masculine energy has been wired for very different purposes. We’re complimentary. Masculine energy has been wired for freedom and autonomy.

Paul: 03:21 This goes way back. Survival for us was our ability to survive independently, autonomously, and it required freedom. Without our freedom, we could perish. You know, freedom to take action. Men Our survival long ago and it has a great purpose, but it’s still within us to this day, being an autonomous being is our natural state of being like feeling like we are self and independent even when we’re in other relationships. So in other words, I’ll just say freedom and autonomy. Even within like a work environment where you’re supposed to work together with others, right? You wouldn’t necessarily see that I was autonomous, but what happens is we use our autonomy in a team nature to accomplish the goals. For your employer, for your company, whatever the case may be, but remaining as almost like an autonomous unit that is free to act. But with the direction that we all agreed upon as a team, we have a team concept and a team approach to life, but we still remain somewhat autonomous with the sense of freedom.

Stacey: 04:21 So just to anchor it in for anyone who’s listening, who’s in the feminine, you know, this whole masculine wired for freedom and autonomy and them not taking it lightly because most men view marriage and that level of commitment in committed relationship as a real possible sacrifice to their freedom and their autonomy. And they’re going to be very, very careful who they hitch themselves to and very, very careful about their decision to do that. You want to talk about it?

Paul: 04:48 Yeah, and I just want to say too, like by the way, you know, if you find that ladies if you find that your man is really hesitant around this or was very hesitant around this, that’s actually a great sign. You might be thinking, no, I have all kinds of meetings around that to say, oh, that’s a bad sign for me like he’s not committed or he doesn’t want me, or I’m not good enough, or any other negative labels he might put on this whole situation. I will just tell you as a guy, and I’m sure the guys out there can back me up on this, that’s a good sign because he didn’t take that decision lightly. You don’t want him to take that decision lightly because if he didn’t take that decision with a lot of thought beforehand, he won’t have the commitment you need to survive that marriage.

Stacey: 05:28 Amen.

Paul: 05:28 You know, you want the man to be like, not only did I take this really seriously, not only was this a challenge for me to overcome mentally, but I will do a because I love you because you were that important to me and because you are the one that I felt like I could spend the rest of my life with. You don’t want someone to take that decision lightly just to be like, oh yeah, like, hey, let’s just go get married as if it’s some kind of a decision to go to a concert. Right? So it’s not a negative thing. And to me it says a lot about your man. If he’s willing, resist authentically something that you may want. If that’s the case, despite what you want, again, not pleasing like we talked about in that last episode, and if he didn’t listen to that episode, go back and listen to it. He’s not pleasing you. He’s doing what’s right from a place of honor and integrity because that’s what you will need from him in order to get through your marriage, to get through some other challenges in your life. That’s a good man stepping up.

Stacey: 06:24 I love that because it really helps the feminine to understand that like committed relationship is not an easy thing for a man to commit to. He has our hurdle that we don’t have, which is this, that he’s wired for freedom and autonomy and connection is something he has to work at. Connection to something he has to figure out how to do connection is something he needs to really commit to, which is very different than how we’re wired. So just to appreciate that. That’s awesome. So Paul, um, talk to us about like what most guys think about the relationship in general like relationship as a topic.

Paul: 06:58 Yeah. By the way, I just want to honor any man who is actually listening to this because unfortunately what happens is we feel like in general, again I’m just saying across the board in general, men often feel like relationship is not a masculine topic at all. We go into marriage thinking like, well look, I’m a good man. I’m going to show up. I have the best of intentions. I love her. I want this amazing life for her and with my children and like we’re going to create this life together. We have these good intentions, but we feel like the relationship thing isn’t something we’re supposed to know. We feel like relationship is like we’re brought up to believe that relationship is a feminine topic. Men Do not talk about the relationships with other men. We feel like it’s not something we need to know and we feel like what it is is if I show up in this marriage with nothing but the best of intentions and I’m here to give and to serve, it’ll just work out because you know my woman will understand how to do this whole relationship thing cause that’s a feminine thing.

Paul: 07:48 And then she’ll do that thing and we’ll, we’ll work it out because I know I have the best intentions so we’ll certainly make this work out together. And then what happens is we get into marriage, right? And we realize, oh my God, like I don’t understand why things are going so wrong. I hear, I am showing up the best of intentions, giving, serving, like doing all these things for her, for my children, for my family. And we wonder why we’re so frustrated because it’s received so negatively or turns out so badly. And I’m like, well, I don’t know how to do this. Relationship thing is one of the things that we come up with and that may be true. You know when it comes down to it as if you see it as a feminine topic instead of a human topic, because we’re all relating all the time whether we want to call it that or not.

Paul: 08:31 We’re relating with our children, we’re relating with our parents, we’re relating with our boss, with our coworkers. You know, the false belief that we don’t have to know anything about what makes a relationship work and that is just a feminine topic is what hurt us as men going into that situation because we felt like that’s not something we needed to know because men to men is very easy to have relationship. You know, we don’t have a lot of rules around interacting and I’ll just give one short example. One I like to use, I have friends who I haven’t seen in years and yet if I saw one of those friends on the street 20 years later, I haven’t spoken to that person in 20 years. I didn’t send a holiday card Christmas card or anything like that and then I just met them on the street.

Paul: 09:13 I could pick up right where I left off and so could he and just be like, Oh man, it is so good to see you. You’re like, can we catch up as if nothing had ever stopped for Feminine Energy? It’s often, you know, very different, right. Requires some more maintenance on that relationship. It’s a different dynamic. But for us there was no maintenance going on. There was no relationship being maintained between us over these, let’s say 20 years and yet we picked up right where we left off. There’s just one simple example of how that can be different for us. We don’t have a lot of rules around it, but the truth is guys, here’s where the real false belief came in is we felt like we didn’t have to need it and we also felt like it was a feminine topic. So any knowledge or understanding around that or pursuit of knowledge around that was inherently feminine.

Paul: 10:00 And I will say that in the past, prior to Stacy and I getting involved here, I think a lot of the relationship stuff you would have seen anywhere on TV or in any books was heavily wrapped in a feminine wrapper from a feminine mindset, from a Feminine Perspective of how relationships should be. So in effect, that means as a man, you’d have to compromise and be an inauthentic in some way. Now I’m here to tell you, you will never ever hear something from me that says you have to be more feminine or relationship has to be done from your perspective in any kind of a feminine rapper or to please anybody else or to meet somebody in the middle in a more non authentic way. For you as a masculine being ever, the world will suffer without masculinity and it is needed just as it would suffer without femininity and it is needed.

Paul: 10:48 We need both sides. The right answer is learn relationship. Guys learn what the dynamics are so you can see what it is that you haven’t seen all these years, but it’s not at all about muting who you are in any way or becoming more feminine in order to please ever. It’s about being your masculine self authentically and understanding the relationship dynamics so that you can show up in a way that serves and gets through where you’re delivering what it was that you meant to deliver and as being received because you understood how it had to be received on the other end. It’s a whole different world. Relationship is not a feminine topic. Relationship is a human topic and I’m proud of any man that’s been listening to this so far because you’ve already seen a, hopefully you’ve listened to a lot of episodes you’ve already seen. We’re not about compromise or pleasing or muting who you are,

Stacey: 11:39 And it’s not emotional. We don’t allow male bashing.

Paul: 11:42 That’s right.

Stacey: 11:43 That’s been going on all these years…

Paul: 11:44 Or feminine bashing like there is no benefit to any of that. Like, oh, again, these old models of what was there obviously failing. In fact, let me just put it out there. Don’t take my word for it again. I always want you to question whatever it is that we say. Don’t take my word for it. Just take a look around. How much chatter is there out there in the world right now of all these people who say they know, Oh, I’m the relationship person and here’s how you’re going to have to change in order to, you know, make your partner happy or here’s the three tricks you want to do to get your man to or get your woman to like all this trike crap.

Paul: 12:18 How about all the formal education that’s built around, you know, therapy to, to you know, for couples therapy. How is that working out? Don’t take my word for it. Just take a look around. What’s the result? 50 to 80% divorce rate. A lot of misery, divorces averaging. Second. Third divorce is often, and the divorce rate is higher by the way, for second or third divorces. So if we were learning anything for the first one, that doesn’t really pan out into statistics either. So don’t take our word for it, but look at reality. So if you’ve been seeing that kind of a trike crap, which is everywhere, just look at the results has gotten, you won’t find this saying the same stuff. So anyway, I’m drifting way off point and getting on my soapbox here, but I want to get off the soapbox and just say, hey guys, this is not at all a feminine rapper topic.

Paul: 13:04 This is about reality. This is about having the skills perspective and understanding to succeed. We would do this in our business, we would do this in any other realm. If we’re building a house, we would understand what it took to build that house. This is no different, right? It’s just we’ve wrongly had this false belief that this was somehow a feminine topic. So getting back to the point is we had this false belief that relationship isn’t a masculine topic. Well, anything you choose not to know, you’re going to suffer for. So guys, it’s not an, I’m proud of you for being here anyways. So I got off a little bit. Yeah,

Stacey: 13:36 no, I love it. I just want to anchor in one thing that you said because I see this all the time. I love that you said, you know, men don’t need a lot of help relating to other men and I would say by the same token, women do not need a lot of help are relating to other women. So when someone teaches so-called teaches relationship and they’re a guy teaching guys or it’s a woman teaching only women, this is garbage. Women don’t need a lot of help relating to other women. Guys don’t need to learn how to relate to other guys. What we need to learn is how to relate to the other because we’re so wildly different, right? That’s why every single thing Paul and I do is we’re always teaching together. I teach from the feminine and Paul teaches from the masculine because if you’re not seeing the opposite, if you’re not learning how to relate to the other, what good is it at that it’s useless. That’s why we do all of these experiences. That’s why we teach all these differences.

Paul: 14:32 And you know, the killer of it all too is, and this is how it goes. So guys, when they do talk about, let’s say they have some complaints about their relationship, I don’t think that’s hard to find, right? You can go anywhere. And if a man is talking about relationship, it’s not how great things are going. Right? He’s got some kind of a complaint. He’s venting, right guys. And I don’t have to say anything to you. I’m sure you’ve heard it from your coworkers or maybe you’re the one doing it or both. Right. And that’s the thing is the other guys are like, oh yeah, of course. Like right, you’re so right. And ladies,

Stacey: 15:05 same thing, a woman complains or bitches about how I’m, you know, me and her husband is or how he didn’t support her or whatever. And every woman to be like, Oh my God, poor you and I would never do that to you and you, yeah, he needs to not be like that. And what did your work like? It’s not hard to get someone to side with you when they see things through the same lenses that you see the world

Paul: 15:27 and what happens as a result? You feel reinforced like, yeah, I’m the right one here, or they’re wrong. I don’t know what’s wrong with them. They’re crazy where they’re, you know, whatever the case may be, insert negative label here is just because we didn’t know. And it’s also wrapped in the fact that so many people today feel like, Oh, don’t acknowledge the differences, the real differences. It doesn’t make us an equal. Of course we’re equal, but there are differences. And just look at the patterns. Don’t take my word for it. Make your own decisions around this. Awesome. Yeah.

Stacey: 15:54 All right. So talk to us about what is a man’s focus when it comes to challenges in relationship or when it comes to what’s going on in his marriage or his family. What is it that he wants? What is that his focus,

Paul: 16:05 you know, at the end of the day, again, this is one of these masculine feminine things is our expectation going into marriage is that it would be peaceful and happy and that because we love each other and because you know, we’re showing up the best of intentions and we’re willing to do whatever it takes to serve from our perspective and to make things great. You know, we actually expected it to be a constant state of like peace and there’s a sense of harmony sort of that comes out of that. And what they really want is when kerfuffle comes up, there’s a break in this piece or this harmony that I’m sort of describing is they just want it fixed. They just want a solution, right? They just like, if there’s something wrong, I’m going to fix it. If I’ll use a housing, if there’s something broken on the house, we’re going to go over, we’re going to fix it.

Paul: 16:49 We’re not going to just leave it broken. And the thought of leaving a broken would be impossible for us. So we just want a solution. Whenever we run into something that will, like we showed up with the best of intentions and especially if we do it over and over and it’s turning out badly. All we want is for it to be fixed. And the first thing you need to do guys, again going back to this, the first thing you need to know is what you needed was a relationship education. If you’re having a problem like that, you know you’re showing up the best of intentions just like the women are too. You needed a relationship education because you didn’t understand the other side of it. You didn’t understand the feminine perspective or he didn’t understand the perspective of your children. For example, when it comes to parenting and he can hit a target that you can’t see. So what happens is we want it fixed and we get continuously frustrated because we couldn’t see the target and we’re often focused on doing the right thing, but you’re deciding what’s right for you as a guy without understanding how she is wired. So going to, again thinking relationship is a feminine topic. It’s not. If you don’t understand what you’re working with, how can you be successful? Whether it’s your business or anything else. So it’s not, I just want to reinforce, again, this is not a feminine topic. This is just about the understanding,

Stacey: 18:03 and I see this all the time. So just to anchor this in fixing relationship problems, there’s a two step process. And the first is what Paul’s talking about, which is getting a relationship education. Because what’s happening is you’re literally in a vehicle that you don’t understand, but you unfortunately think you do, right? So you’re focused on doing the right thing, but you’re deciding what is right based on a masculine filter. You’re seeing the world through masculine lenses. You’re observing her through a masculine lenses and you’re like, well, this is the right thing to do. This is the right thing. This is the right thing to say. This is what I do in this moment. But all of it based on the masculine, which is totally natural, totally normal, and you’re dealing with the feminine. So if you don’t understand how she’s wired, if you don’t understand how she processes, which by the way ps, it’s usually the exact opposite of you, then all of your best of intentions, actions are going to fall flat or cause kerfuffle because you have not studied it yet. You don’t know how she’s wired and you need a relation to education to understand what it is that you’re dealing with, what it is that you’re operating with

Paul: 19:10 and vice versa coming back at you. If you don’t understand that, you won’t be able to see what it is she’s actually doing for you and what she’s trying to say to you. Like it works both ways. So you know, step one, step one is to get a relationship, educate the education so you understand what’s really going on and you can see it. And then step two is you need the real life tools at work, right? Because no matter what you’re doing, again, I’ll use that house analogy. What do we grab guys? We grab tools, we have a strategy and we grabbed tools and yet we’re not doing the same thing in our relationship. Most guys because we’ve wrongly felt this was a feminine topic. It’s not. So you need real life tools and strategies that work effective ones that you can put in place and then you get the results that you want. So you need to learn how to relate to the feminine in a way that also authentic for you, period, right? Must be authentic for you, allows you to be the man that you are, allows you to be happy. And also serves her for how she is wired, what she really needs so that you can create like an amazing legendary relationship with her. It’s not impossible. It’s impossible if you don’t, you’re looking at that, right? Imagine building a house with like no idea of what should go where. Like how’s that gonna work out?

Stacey: 20:21 Great analogy. I love that. All right Paul, so you serve and mentor so many men and our relationship you program. What do you see most often in coaching? The men of are you,

Paul: 20:32 yeah. You know what? The patterns are really strong. And what I see is first and foremost, and I think this for guys, we get, this is kind of almost goes without saying, but I have to say it is, the man is showing up with the best of intentions, right? He wants to be her hero. He wants to serve her, and he’s working really hard to do so often, like incredibly hard. And yet simply because he didn’t understand the relationship dynamics, he feels that like he just can’t win and things continue to suck. And he’s like I, and he starts getting into the point where he just wants to give up. He’s like, I’m doing the best that I can. I know I am. I’m as I call it, taking the sword over and over just to make things right or just to help or just to please her.

Paul: 21:11 Right. We know where that goes. Pleasing. And it’s sad. It’s sad because they’re hitting the point where they’re at the end. Yeah. And they’re just like, I’m giving up. No matter what I do, it’s never the right thing. Or it just always turns out badly. And I know I’m doing the right thing, I don’t get it. So it must be impossible. Or the more common one I must have just chosen wrong. Like somehow this hurts her. I can’t make her hap can’t make her happy and it seems impossible. And then it becomes personal. It becomes about the partner that they were in love with, uh, just because they didn’t know what they were dealing with. So the only difference between the, at that amazing relationship, the one that’s falling apart is that lack of awareness, the education and the tools. It wasn’t about the partner, wasn’t about the people, wasn’t about you as a man who was about her as a woman, beyond the fact that you didn’t know what you’re dealing with.

Paul: 21:57 So it’s not that you chose wrong, it’s not that she’s crazy. Like these are things that I hear, like I’m sure it’ll be so much easier if I just left and then went on to find someone different as if somehow like I’ll pick differently. Like I see the things I don’t like here. So let me pick somebody who is very different than that. And it’ll just, it’ll work out because clearly I chose wrong. I didn’t see these things before, but now that I see them, I know what to avoid. No, my guys, I just want to tell you right now, there’s multiple things about this that I understand and that there’s more on this topic we can get into some other day, but what I will tell you is let’s look at facts. Again, don’t take my word for it. Second and third, divorce rates are even higher than a first. If you really thought you were learning anything here, I promise you you’re not. You’re just reacting and trying to run away from the things that you’ve been able to identify. It won’t fix it.

Stacey: 22:40 And so many, so many of these patterns are just masculine, Feminine Kerfuffles. It’s really not a, you know, Mike and Susie kerfuffle. It is a masculine, feminine kerfuffle. And if you don’t learn it now, you are destined to repeat it in other relationships.

Paul: 22:57 Yeah, it’s you, you take you with you to the next relationship. And while it might seem easy upfront, for those of you who thought, well, I’m, I feel like it’d be so much easier up here. Oh, it will be. It will be in the near term. There’s no question. I won’t disagree with that. It’s just a matter of time though. You could swap her out for new one and you’re going to repeat it. You do have the power to fix this though, and you’re not going to figure this out on your own because he can’t hit a target that you can see. So the best way I can serve you is to ask you this question. When do you want to learn what you’re up against? When are you going to take action and do something about it? I’m serving you from those two questions and take them seriously and actually ask yourself those.

Stacey: 23:35 I love it. I love it. All right, so what would you say, Paul, to any ladies who are listening today? It goes, hopefully ladies, your listening and getting a really great perspective and understanding of some of the masculine perspective. And so for anyone who’s listening who is feminine on the Feminine Perspective, what would you have to say to them, Paul?

Paul: 23:54 Well, first thing I have to say is, first of all, if you’ve been blaming your man for how he shows up in your relationship, I hope you’re starting to see that it wasn’t about you or his lack of love for you or any other meetings that you might have associated with how he showing up. And I hope that you see that the truth is the number one thing is he was trying his best to serve you. He really had nothing but the best of intentions and he was running to the end of his skill set, which is something that we say all the time. It’s a masculine dynamic. And if you swap him out with any other masculine man, you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself in the same circumstances. Again, it might’ve been easier for the first six months, but it will go back to these longterm relationship dynamics.

Paul: 24:35 If you were the masculine man, you will find the same challenges coming up with a different face. So just to be very clear, it wasn’t about the partner, it wasn’t about you two together as a whole. It’s about that lack of awareness of what was going on and the labels that we associate with it wrongly. It only takes one person to transform any relationship. And if you’re the one listening, that could be you. He does not have to listen to this podcast to fix your relationship. So in other words, ladies, if you’re like, oh, I need him to listen to this podcast so that I can fix him, relationship has to man relationship. You are the one here. You can change this and if you want to wait, and this is something we need to get out there if we haven’t already. Okay, good. If you want to wait for your partner to listen to this podcast so he can fix it for you, you’re going to end up right where you are now.

Paul: 25:27 A year from now, five years from now, you’re the one here. You’re the one getting this. The gift is for the person who takes the action. Amen. You are the one who has the power to change your relationship the moment you choose to do so. Whether, Hey, it’s the guy on this, listening to this right now that I’m speaking to, or the lady that I’m speaking to on this, you’re the one here. You’re the one that takes the action and every bit of what Stacy and I will teach you isn’t for your partner. It never was. It was always for you. You’re the one that will have the power to navigate life and all your relationships when you have these understandings.

Stacey: 26:03 Amen.

Paul: 26:03 When you have this clarity, you’re the one that has that elevation, the evolution that was needed, that’s been lacking for all of these years. So you can choose to grab the handle on that and start driving it and be the one who gets the gift or not. And you can wait for someone else to change or the world to line up around you, the fix the problems for you. I don’t recommend the latter, but it’s certainly a choice. So when I’m saying to you is if you’re the one listening to the podcast, you’re the one that has the power to fix this relationship. It’s more be asked to believe that, oh, he has to meet me in the middle. No, he doesn’t. So please don’t wait for him to listen to this podcast. Don’t think, and if he doesn’t listen to it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me. Don’t wait. Be the one who gets the gift and guys, same thing with you. If you’re the one thinking, well I’ll know it’s a feminine thing. Again, going back to this whole belief that like relationship is a feminine topic, so I need her to listen to this podcast.

Speaker 1: 26:54 If she can fix this shit. Good luck guys. You’re the one and it wasn’t for her just the same way as I said it a moment ago. The gift is for whoever chooses to learn how to navigate life from an evolutionary perspective of the evolve perspective that actually sees the truth for what it is and has the power to take action moment by moment. You get to take that gift in every relationship you have. Whether it’s with your boss, your children, your wife. So choose to take the gift, choose to get the awareness and the tools and strategies so you can stop the unnecessary suffering. Yes. So please also for the women or the men on this, don’t wait for your partner. Decide you’re here. Get the gift. And don’t wait for someone else to get the gift in hopes that they bring it to you.

Stacey: 27:36 Awesome. I love it. Alright, so let’s wrap up with some action steps. What are some action steps that they can take starting today, baby?

Paul: 27:42 All right. So one of the first things is, again, let’s notice, start seeing it where it is. So notice where you’re judging her based on how you would think, what you would do or how you would be. This is your opportunity. Just look at it. How much are you judging based upon what you think is right from a masculine perspective where for example, all the other guys around me would see at the same way. Well that might be a clue right there, right? If they all do and they all agree, that’s probably a masculine perspective. So notice where you’re judging her based upon how you would have thought or what you thought should have been done or the right thing there. Okay, so that’s the first one is notice. Second thing, ask yourself how many times you’re making judgments about her behavior when you have a kerfuffle, meaning no man, for example, would it behave like that?

Paul: 28:31 No other guy would have talked to me like that. Ask yourself how many times you’re making judgments about her behavior when you have a kerfuffle. Third One, ask yourself if you believe that no other guy would do that. So where are you making the judgements is the one ask and then ask yourself if you believe that the meaning that you’re putting behind this is that no other guy would have done that because guess what? You’re right. We know it. No other guy would have. She’s not a guy. And if you want to live a life with a woman, you need to understand the feminine dynamic. It’s that simple. So speaking of which, in the next episode, Stacy and I, and we’ll talk about the feminine, Actually Stacy will talk about the feminine. So whether you’re masculine or feminine, you don’t want to miss out on this one.

Stacey: 29:13 Awesome. Hey, if you’re ready to start getting the solutions and the tools to truly understand and appreciate the differences between the masculine and feminine in ways that you can literally like show up differently every day, reduce Kerfuffles, create amazing relationships with your partner. Then start our program, come to our next event. Get the solutions you and your family deserve. If found value from this podcast today, take a screenshot, shear it, spread the word about the relationship transformer podcast, and until next time, remember together we are changing the way relationship is done.

Stacey: 29:55 Hey, would you like to get big results in your relationships in just 10 seconds a day? If so, then subscribe to our daily inspiration for relationship transformers or The Dirt at Martinopodcast.com/Dirt.

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