19: We Moved To Idaho

19: We Moved To Idaho

Relationship Transformers Podcast
Relationship Transformers Podcast
19: We Moved To Idaho

What’s The Episode About:

In this episode, Paul and Stacey will share their experience moving from Pennsylvania to Idaho. They’ll talk about how hectic it was to pack up and move across the country, and the numerous challenges that it presented for their business and personal lives.  

Stay put. Move to the beach. Move to another country.

These were all thoughts going through their heads.

If you wanna learn how they came to their decision and how to live by design and transform your life, listen in. They will share the good and bad of the moving process, their kids’ experiences through it all, and some of the very interesting things that the movers had to say about them.  

Key Points Discussed:   

  • Moving to Idaho and people’s response (01:14)
  • A priceless gift for the kids (04:54)
  • Comfort cannot be your standard if you want an amazing life (10:14)
  • Choosing to live a life by design will transform your life (15:59)
  • Getting great insight from the packers and movers (20:22)
  • The importance of taking the hand of lad (27:07)
  • The action steps towards your life by design (28:49)

  Additional Resources:

Where Can I Learn More:

Have you signed up for The D.I.R.T. ?! http://bit.ly/2KlobXZ

When Did It Air:

August 29, 2019

Episode Transcript:

Disclaimer:  The Transcript Is Auto-Generated And May Contain Spelling And Grammar Errors


Paul:               00:00 Hey relationship transformers, welcome to the Relationship Transformer podcast. So today, Stacey and I are going to take you on a bit of a journey with us. In the last few weeks, our family has moved from Pennsylvania to Idaho. It’s a little bit crazy. Okay? It was a lot of crazy at times, and yet today, Stacey and I are going to share our story about the move. And, one of the things we’re going to cover is why Idaho? We’re going to talk about the good, the bad, the ugly about our move, our kids’ experience through the move, some interesting things that movers said about us during the move that we thought were unexpected but very insightful, and our lessons from this move, both for moving and for life, so let’s queue up the intro and dive in.


Intro:              00:45 So the big question is this, how is it possible that one person alone can transform any relationship, save their marriage, great their unshakeable love and unleash passion, divorce, proof their family without needing their partner to get on board and do this with them and yet still get to be happily, authentically you without compromise. That is the question and this podcast will give you the answer.


Paul:               01:14 Alright. So, let’s start. Why Idaho? I’m going to flip this around for everybody, and I get it, don’t get me wrong. Not everybody is aware of Idaho. I’m going to say, why not Idaho? Why any other state, what’s wrong with Idaho?


Stacey:             01:29 For months we’ve been planning this move to Idaho, and any time that we moved from Pennsylvania. Anytime somebody asks us, “Oh, where are you moving to? We’re like, Idaho.” Every single person without fail said, “Why Idaho?”


Paul:               01:42 First there’s this pause, like this little pause, and then say Idaho. They’re wondering if they heard it correctly, and it’s so undeserved, I’m just going to say. But it is funny how consistent that was, were like, “Why?” You know, I think if we said we’re moving to Miami in Florida or moving, you know, to some well-known city, in some other state that maybe has an ocean view or something like that, people think, “Oh, of course you would just do that”, but to pick on any other state, it’s kinda silly, but anyway, it was very interesting to see how consistent that response was.


Stacey:             02:14 Anyway, this was absolutely part of our life by design. Two years ago, Paul and I, to tell you the story, Paul and I started looking for a new house. We knew we were ready to move. To give you some references, we’ve lived in the same house before this for 16 years. Paul and I both worked out of one small office. It was a small bedroom. And that means that like if we’re doing this podcast, or if I’m on a Q&A call, or Paul’s on a video call, like we can’t both be doing something at once, cause we’re on top of each other in this small office, which definitely had its benefits, but it also had its drawbacks. So, we were ready to move and we went house hunting, and we went exploring, and in doing so realized at one point like, “Hey, we could actually live anywhere we want in the world”, because of our mission, because of the organization that we run, because we’re virtual, like we really could pick up and go anywhere.


Stacey:             03:07 And it became a life by design conversation. If we’re really gonna live our life by design, where do we want to live? And so, Paul and I went on this journey of figuring out where we wanted to be, and we narrowed it down to seven cities in the US that we wanted to explore. And we went to visit most of them, did a deep dive look into all of them, and eventually, every time we went to a city it would keep coming back to yeah, but Idaho, like it was just better. It was the environment, it was the people, it was the culture here, is like, people are so friendly here, and everybody’s nice, and it’s slower here, and it’s peaceful here, and we have a huge network of support and friends here that all have kids, and our kids wanted to be here. And we love the nature. We’re surrounded by mountains.


Paul:               04:00 It’s so beautiful here.


Stacey:             04:01 It’s so beautiful here. The air is clean and it’s just so great to be here that it became a life by design for us to pick up and move our family to Idaho. So that’s why Idaho. And the second question we get asked about our move to Idaho is, what about your kids? How do they feel about your move to Idaho? You want to talk about how the kids feel?


Paul:               04:23 Yeah. So you know, this was our thought process and at the same time, we flew the kids out. We wanted them to experience it and we had our own thoughts about, you know, what we felt this would provide for them, but we also wanted them to have firsthand experience. So our thoughts about why we wanted the kids to have this kind of life out here is because when it’s a slower environment when you’re surrounded by a lot of people who are, let’s say positive in general across the board.


Stacey:             04:52 Yeah. Friendly and feature


Paul:               04:54 and choose by design. They choose by design to make sure that they know their neighbors and things like that. Things that get lost in some of the bigger cities these days and have been for a long time. It was more what we saw for the children was more of a life where it could be more like it was when we were kids, where the neighbors knew who the neighbors were. Everyone really had a like a caring nature towards everyone else and it’s kind of like going back in time in a sense like that for us from where we were because that element got lost. That element got lost over time. Whereas it’s a life by design choice for the people here in Idaho and in many other states in this country. I’m just gonna say yes, of course, but this was one of the things that we really thought would be a priceless gift that we could give our children that weren’t as available at say where we were. So that was a big thing, but we wanted the kids to move out or where you wanted the kids to come out rather and see what they thought of it. And just not without any pressure because we are not a demand relationship family. Right. Without any pressure. Just let them experience it and then see what their experience was like.


Stacey:             05:54 Okay. So that’s when the magic because we brought them to Idaho, was it last May? Yeah, in the spring, April or May for a trip for them to experience it and literally, and they were on board, like from the time we started exploring the seven different cities and looking at it, they kept saying like, Oh I think Idaho is my topic. Idaho is my topic. I think I want to move there. And so we all came here on a trip and literally by the time the trip was over, both of our kids came to us and said, is there any way that we can stay and not wait until August. Like you guys go back and finish things up in and then, you know, figure out how to come back here. But can we stay and not go home? Like that is the closer like and then we weren’t actually going to move until later this year, but it was Jake and Greys who came to Paul and I and made a very compelling presentation on why if it was at all possible for us to move before they started their school year, they would super appreciate that our kids have like such incredible relationship skills.


Stacey:             07:03 You know, they came to us and said, hey, we get it. This is a big, big deal. We are so grateful that you’re moving us across the country. We’re so excited about it is a great house that we’re getting. Is there any way that instead of waiting for the fall or the winter, you would consider moving in August so that we can start the school year in our new schools and if not, that’s totally cool. We understand. But if there’s anything we can do to make that happen, we’re on board and Paul and I, you know, we’re considerate. We looked into it and we figured out a way, even though it was going to be a little uncomfortable, we thought it turned out to be a whole lot of crazy. We figured out a way that we could actually move our family here in August so they can start their school years and we’re psyched to do it, and we did that because comfort is not our standard


Paul:               07:48 and that my friends is what we really want you to get from today’s lesson and we’re going to go into this. Now. That phrase is something you should write down. Stick it on your computer. You know, print it out somewhere. Make it big. Comfort is not our standard. Comfort should not be your standard either. Now, don’t get me wrong, I just got done saying how we came out here because we liked it. It was more comfortable in certain ways. That’s not what I mean by that. Notice that our children wanted to move and get this done, even though it was outside of our timeline. And what that meant to us, by the way, happened to be that that timeline means that we had to do all of this, not only find the house we wanted to move into a whole lot faster than we wanted to based upon our original thoughts. You know, just thoughts. What we thought was reasonable. We intentionally, from our perspective, said it would be best if we could move like more closer to December. Well, when our children asked our children are important to us, if comfort was our standards, we would’ve said, nope. Sorry. You’ll have to join school halfway through. And that would be very demanding of us.


Stacey:             08:51 And just to frame that out, it’s because the week in July, we do the biggest event that we do all year long. Our relationship breakthrough retreat, three day live event. Our team works on that event for a year. Paul and I bust our butts to deliver that event. We’re on stage for three days at the end, we’re in a puddle of exhaustion. So to think that we’re gonna pack our entire house and move across the country. Right after doing that, during the time when we’re taking on so much, it’s one of the busiest months of our year. August was not exactly comforting and it was not in our plan. It was a comfortable, but comfort is not, our


Paul:               09:30 comfort is not our standard. And our children had very valid points as a very valid need to want to kind of fit right in and the beginning of the year. And the truth is the only thing stopping us from saying yes right away was we realized we have some logistical issues, right? We have, we didn’t have a house and we didn’t have a house. So there’s these slight challenges for a small hiccup. What do we do? We live a life by design because comfort is not our standard. We didn’t sit there and say, oh, we have all these reasons why it would be uncomfortable for us to do that. We chose instead, kind of what we said on that last episode, our question was different. Our question became instead of, you know, we can, why we can’t is how can we, right. Just ignoring the fact that yes, it won’t be convenient.


Paul:               10:14 Yes you won’t be comfortable. Yes this is going to create some challenges for us to overcome, but it’s what we want. Then we move forward. That’s one of the key foundations of what we want to teach you from this particular episode is this happens in so many ways in our life and comfort cannot be your standards. So if you want an amazing life, if you want an amazing life. So if you think about it, we had all these things going on so we’re going to have to find a house and we were down to like now like an eight-week span. I think while we’re very [inaudible]


Stacey:             10:42 truly find a house from Pennsylvania,


Paul:               10:45 and normally, don’t get me wrong, our calendar is jam-packed on a typical day, let alone preparing for the event and looking for a house across the country and flying out to go look at houses across the country, like adding all these things. It would have been so easy to just say, that’s too much. It’s too much. And what we did is we didn’t stop. We, in fact, our real editor said, you guys are animals. He said, you know, because again, comfort is not our standard. So within that timeframe, despite the live event, literally we did all of it. We went through many houses, put in multiple offers, you know.


Stacey:             11:19 say something about that. That in itself was a journey in state mastery because we put in an offer on a house and it went south, like it went bad and we needed to shift gears and not get that house and start looking for another one. And then we’re like, okay, this is it. Like we found our house, we put it off on the house and that one didn’t work out and we were like, oh my gosh, like it’s getting tight now folks. We’re not going back to Idaho to find another house. Like how are we going to do this? And then we found a third house and then the third house,


Paul:               11:51 like all different reasons. She was amazing. We were like, so we’re like, Shit. You know, a lot of people will say, well then it’s too much. Now I have, I’ve tried, right? I’ve tried and I failed. We kept moving forward because we still had time left. We’re like, it’s still possible. So I hopped on a plane, came back.


Stacey:             12:05 Paul was just such an amazing hero for our family. He’s like, okay, this is our last chance. I actually do have two days this week that I could clear my calendar, adjust me, I’ll fly out. I’ll look at the seven houses that we found the next day I’ll fly home. So in 48 hours, Paul took two flights to Idaho, looked at seven houses, slept four hours that day, got up the next day to finish looking at the rest of the houses and then flew two flights back home to Pennsylvania. And in that process found this house, the house that we’re in now, which we love babies. So you did such a great job. Thank you. But it was crazy.


Paul:               12:48 Yes. So it would have been easy to stop, but we don’t stop. And in the meantime, we’re still doing all this stuff we have to do for the event. And you know, just to add to it, to show you that timing was inconvenient, let’s say is literally they had to send a notary out to the hotel we were staying in while we were at the event just so we can sign the papers to close. And then we were moving right after that. So you know, imagine that after being burned out and preparing for the event. And you know, and we are, I’ll be honest with you, we get really physically burned out after delivering just Stacey and I on stage day and night,


Stacey:             13:17 pouring our souls out. And then we literally came home for like maybe 48 hours and then the movers showed up.


Paul:               13:25 So you know, again, all this stuff went on and it was entirely worth it. And that’s the point is, you know, in a short period of time what we had accomplished. Most people would either want to jump off or postpone or spread out, but we’re moved. We moved and it’s because it was a choice. Comfort is not our standard. We don’t make judgments about what we want in our life based upon how comfortable that will be. It’s going to be, and I’ll also say, let’s flip this around because I really want everyone to see this because this applies this everything in your life. That’s why I keep saying like, print this out, write it down. Let’s think about the people who came to RBR. This is the event that we were delivering for. The people came to the RBR, two came to RBR would’ve said before going to the event, I don’t know what this event is. I’ve heard it was great, or whatever it was that they saw. I think this is for me. So they think they want something, but maybe they don’t know what it’s all about. And it would have been comfortable for them to say, ah, I’m not going to go to this event because I’m busy. Uh, you know,


Stacey:             14:26 fly flies are not in school for the summer.


Paul:               14:29 There are so many reasons why people will easily justify something that now just became inconvenient. And yet the people who said, I’m going, I’m going to clear the decks, much like we did with buying the house and choosing to go with something that was not comfortable. The people who came had unbelievable transformations. Their lives will never be the same. They invested three days in an event that transformed their lives and it would’ve been so easy for those same people to find some reason to say, ah, not now. Next year, not this time. Which we know usually ends up being never right because they were on at the moment and then life takes them on their way. A missed opportunity. The same would have happened here. The same could have been just as easily true for us. We tried on these houses multiple times. I guess it wasn’t meant to be.


Paul:               15:18 Right. How many times have you heard that? I guess that’s just the way it was. Was it meant to be, maybe we should just stay here. It’s too hard to move across the country and let me tell you folks, one of the learning lessons for us is it’s actually wildly expensive. Annexed, unexpectedly expensive. Like you know, the, the guy who had on the phone when we started hearing how much it was going to cost to move the contents of our house across the country. I will just say that I, I’m not easily shocked. I was genuinely shocked and he said, look, unless you were going from Florida to Washington, it doesn’t get any farther than this. You’re about as far as you’re going to be. So there are so many reasons why, you know, it could have been, I guess this isn’t what’s meant for us now.


Paul:               15:59 And I’ll tell you what, having within day one of moving, ah, we even asked, the kids were like, is this everything you thought it would be? And they were like, it is so much more, more, our lives will be forever changed because we chose to live a life by design. We chose to not let comfort be our standard, as was the case with everyone who came to RBR and they got the results. They get to live in that life because of it. It’s the same with us. We practice what we preach in everything that we do. And that’s a life lesson that you know, again, could get lost as just, Oh life is difficult moving. No, there’s so much to be learned from every life experience. But once you get those dynamics and understand it, you can transform so many other areas of your life. So that’s your magic words for today is comfort cannot be your standard. So along the way to do you want to tell them about like some of the things we had really interesting experiences because we’re not your typical household. We had some interesting interactions with people that also are worth noting. So do you want to tell them like what someone,


Stacey:             17:01 it was very, very interesting like and now here of course nobody knows what do we do, knows who we are as like packer showed up at our house to pack our house. By the way, that was one of the things that I had to master my state about the most, was living in our house in Pennsylvania for months. Knowing that we were moving and not packing a thing. It was like every time I went through a room in our home, I was like, I reminded myself, they said they can pack our whole house in one day. They’re going to pack our whole house in one day. These guys do this all day, every day. If they said they can pack this little house in a day, they’re going to pack this whole house in a day and even leaving for the relationship breakthrough retreat, life event, knowing that we were like three days away from moving and nothing in our house had been touched.


Stacey:             17:48 Like there’s a piece of paper, there’s not a box. We haven’t moved anything yet. I was telling myself if they said they can pack our whole house in one day, they can pack our hellos in one day. This is the professional, this is the pro, this is why we work with pros. They know what they’re doing. They’ve done a thorough job. So they came out and they packed our whole house in one day, which was pretty unbelievable. I’m going of course here, these people, they don’t know anything about us or what we do and it was so crazy cause there’s like seven of them in our house, like everywhere in our house. You couldn’t really go in a room without a packer being in our house that day and they were, you know, interacting with me and Paul and Jake and grace and the amount of times that each of them individually came to either mirror Paul and I didn’t know what was going on for Paul and he didn’t know what was going on for me.


Stacey:             18:38 We powwowed at the end of the day and ended up finding out that multiple times in that day as some of the packers and movers had approached us to say something about how, you know you guys are unbelievable though. The way that you’re, you’re laughing through this day, the way that you’re so positive, the way that you hug each other and you’re so calm and your kids are so happy. Like we don’t see this. Like this is not what people usually in your situation are melting down, right? Or having ton of stress. This is a stressful experience and you guys are being so gracious to us and so caring and you’re laughing and joking and we don’t know what’s going on with you guys. But we’ve not ever seen anything like this. And, and different movers and different packers said that to me or Paul at different times of the journey.


Stacey:             19:32 And it’s so funny because here I am thinking to myself, you know, I feel terrible for these poor packers because Paul and I are at our worst right now. Like we are coming off of a three day where we’re exhausted. It was totally, it was so sweaty, hot in our house because all the doors were open everywhere you went, all day long, they’re moving and it’s like humid in Pennsylvania. We’re exhausted, we’re tired. And it was stressful. It was stressful to have your entire house packed up in one day and be running around trying to, you know, make sure everything is the way it needs to be. And I’m like, oh my gosh, we’re totally at our worst. And yet from their perspective they’re like, wow, you guys are so unbelievable and you’re so happy. And I’m like, oh my gosh, this is like really not the best of me and Paul.


Paul:               20:22 Yeah, we’re kind of like fried, you know, half energy. But it’s definitely a case where, you know, not only was it like the packers and the movers, you know, when we got to the other end too. So you know, the other side of is they’re unpacking and there’s people who are like doing this organization and they’re, they’re going through, they’re asking questions and you can tell they’re very like hesitant to ask questions. Cause I’m sure they’ve, in fact they’ve said they’ve had so many, you know, negative experiences where people on them and because they’re venting from the stress of the move, they’re coming down on them. They’re asking us questions. We’re like, yeah, you know, that’s a great point. I think we should do x, y, and Z. And we would have these collaborations with them and they’d always walk away and like, okay. And then after a while it became a normal thing where they’re like, wow, like these guys are great. Like they’re really working with us on this. And we weren’t. We were part of the team. Like they’re of course we’re grateful. We’re like, wow, you guys are doing an amazing job. And they had the same experience. They’re like, we don’t normally see this. We normally see people like losing it, venting on their spouse, you know, major meltdowns. And you guys are [inaudible].


Stacey:             21:25 Yep. They’re their kids, their kids having meltdowns. Cause the moving is stress. Like they see so much of the worst of families and families suffering through this and all of the breakdowns in their kerfuffles. And it was very interesting to see all these different, and by the way, it was different people on the Pennsylvania end than it was on the Idaho end. And the same dynamic happened on both sides where people either earn interacting with our kids or interacting with us. And it just goes to show like when you’re a relationship transformer, it impacts everybody. Not just to be pulling your house, but the people who are experiencing you too. And you know, people know what’s going on in the world. You do too. You can see it in people when people are uptight or when someone’s making a sarcastic or snide comment about their spouse, you hear it, you can see it, you see when somebody snaps at their kid or whatever and you know what’s going on. And people do see that. And it’s different when your relationship transformer people see that too. It’s really true.


Paul:               22:26 Yeah. And I’ll tell you, there’s another story to be had here to help those listening, which is, you know, we had a design that we wanted to accomplish, you know, life by design. We had an outcome that we wanted and it was a big outcome in a short timeframe. And it’s funny cause we think about this from our perspective as well too is, you know, we’ll do that for our students is we give them a big outcome in a short time frame instead of learning the hard way through life. So again, I’m just going to show you how everything that we teach it plays out through all of life. So as part of this process, you know, we looked at it and we’re like, I think this is big. And I’ll just be honest, super honest here and say in my mind like I’m a machine and I’m like I can stay up at night, I can power through this. And like, I mean this is a really big deal, but if I just start boxing up stuff now do the workday box at night. Like I’m thinking about how I could do it as a machine, even if it burns me down to the core. Right. You’re bound down to [inaudible].


Stacey:             23:24 Paul was thinking he could pack for us. Like I could do this. Like I don’t know that we need somebody to come in and do this. I could just, you know, work all day and pack at night and like [inaudible] weeks, I’ll just, I’ll be done.


Paul:               23:34 Right. No, cause now I’ve got a couple of weeks and boy what I can pack in a couple of weeks probably at nighttime. So I’m having all these thoughts in my mind of what I could do on my own right. And a, in the meantime, Stacey’s like, no way, no way. Like there’s no way, there’s no way I’m getting involved in this. And she had a lot of very valid points. I’m like, alright, so part of me, again, I’m trying to serve, it’s just my way and I’m a machine so I’m like, I’ll do it all indoor. But knowing I would pay a price for it, I’d still do it for my family. Right. But I also listened because Stacey and I are not separate people. We do things together and that’s another story to be had for another day. Yeah. So I listened to her and I’m like, you know what? Okay, and I want that for you is basically what my outcome was. Isn’t that what that for you and I get it.


Stacey:             24:16 Share my perspective was there’s a company, our friend Tom has a business, Tom Nevermann from OrgoDomo.com unbelievable moving orchestration and organizational design. True Professional. Unbelievable. Like the pro of pros. I’ve known Tom for like 10 years and I said to Paul, if we’re going to move and we’re going to move days after the biggest event of our year and we’re going to do all this in a short period of days, be to get the kids into school. Then I’m not touching like a thing. We’re not packing, we’re not boxing. Our time is best served serving our mission and serving families and let somebody else who’s a pro at this do the packing and the moving and the unpacking and also setting up this house because I think it would’ve taken us months if not years of boxes all over the place before anything got unpacked because a, I don’t have a sense for how to do that kind of stuff and be like, we don’t have any time for anything like that.


Stacey:             25:16 So my concept was, as we always teach, to use a pro, find out who’s the expert in this, who gets the result like this for people and you know, reach for that person, work with them and let them guide you. Let them deliver the result for you. Just like we do for our students. That relationship breakthrough retreat, we’re the experts. They reach for us. We give them the solutions and they get the result. That was the concept is we’re gonna call Tom and God willing, Tom is going to be available and make this work to do the moving orchestration, which he did phenomenally like he’s the best. Every single room in our new house is completely professionally designed. Every drawer and closet is beautifully organized to support our family. It’s just everywhere you look, it’s beautiful, it’s organized, it’s all laid out and we didn’t touch a thing.


Paul:               26:12 And you know, in hindsight like so many lessons are, you know, the clarity of it all. Like having followed that because we work together and by not being pigheaded on my own side here, we’re saying, no, no, no, I, you know, I could do this money, I could do it myself. I do myself. Right. You know, I will suffer through, I’ll figure out the way to do it. I could probably get a pretty good, I don’t need outside help now Paul. Exactly. By the time we even start one. I’ll be honest with you, it started for me the day the people packing up the house, the amount of work that went into that, I’m looking at them and there were like seven of them and two other leaders. I’m like, wow, like the amount of work that was involved, that would have taken me so long.


Paul:               26:56 I didn’t been packing. Oh for so long. I didn’t even try. I wouldn’t have made it out the door, let alone getting the stuff across the country.


Stacey:             27:04 You would have thrown out all of our stuff and come here and bought everything new. I.


Paul:               27:07 t’s true. You’re, you’re so, you know me. Cause I would’ve, I been like this is, this is so very fishy. It’s, I’m just, I found a new plan. Your plan is let’s Pat our shoe moving. Let’s just start. Let’s get out of here yet so you can see how badly things go. If you don’t take what we call the hand of lad. And there’s a big story behind that. But nonetheless you get the pro to do it for you. And I was already grateful for moment one and not for nothing. When you look at the combined, I’m grateful that went through that whole experience from the day we started the move until the day that everything was moved in and professionally done and I looked at the work that went into that and I was like, wow, the amount that I didn’t know, the amount of mistakes I would’ve made, the art in which it was handled, the way things were.


Paul:               27:53 So like systematize them. They had so many strategies for things. It was so obvious that if you don’t know what you’re doing, the pain would be great. And I’ll tell you, we wouldn’t be moved in now. I doubt by Christmas we’d have been moved in like we’d be living in box city here for, we found these podcasts. Mike’s no question, no question. Seriously like these podcasts would have stopped. You know the impact to us from me making a poor decision of not grabbing what we call the hand of lad, the professional who knows what they’re doing would have been massive and we all do that in our life and we’re just going to tell you like seriously, consider if something seems big, you should treat it with the emphasis that it deserves and start thinking about who is it that can shortcut that for you?


Paul:               28:38 Who is it that already knows how to do it? Who is it that has that mastery? So that what would have been a huge impact to you in your life now becomes something where it’s like that was very manageable and so worthwhile.


Stacey:             28:49 Awesome. So start us out or close us off. Paul, what are the action steps? What can we start doing now to anchor in the lessons from that?


Paul:               28:56 Right? So what you want to do now, number one, decide. Decide that comfort is not your standard. Number two, only work with pros. Whatever you’re going to have to do in your world, whatever you want for your life by design, make it so that you work with the best of the best when it comes to the things that you’re doing in your life. It’s so worth it. Don’t try to, you know, shortcut that and say, well, this one is easy.


Paul:               29:22 Get the best of the best. It’s always the right choice. And we did too. We didn’t just find like Acme brand. No, no offense against Acme. I’m just going back to like this, the roadrunner days where everything was like FBA. So, um, you know, like don’t get like the no name brand just because it was convenient, right? Or because it was like the cheapest. Do it with the ones who know what they’re doing. Go with the best of the best. And then three, start choose to always start creating your life by design in any endeavor that you choose to endeavor into. There’s actually a predictable result when comfort is your standard in life and you know what that result is. Regret.


Stacey:             30:01 Yeah. Ever since the Relationship Breakthrough Retreat, I’ve heard countless regret stories. This is the season for me right after this event is when the regret stories start flooding in. I heard from people saying, oh my gosh, so and so went to your event and oh my God, the breakthrough they’re talking about. I’m kicking myself that I went on vacation instead of going to your van or this person told me about this unbelievable transformation that they had and now I’m kicking myself that I didn’t get to your event this year, like story after story after story of regret from going into comfort as their standard and not making a commitment to be at relationship breakthrough retreat like when the story start flooding back from the attendees who were there about the breakthroughs that they had about how their life has changed. Their parenting will never be the same.


Stacey:             30:52 Their marriage will never be the same. Everything in their business is going to change for their better. The huge kerfuffle that they’ve been carrying around for decades has been resolved. Like when people start telling those stories, then the flood of regret of I’m kicking myself for not being there starts to flood back to us. Don’t be one of those regrets stories. So get on the wait list for RBR 2020 so that as soon as we announced the dates and the location, block your calendar, buy your tickets because there’s only one thing worse than the regret of missing out on a life changing opportunity. Do you know what that is choosing to miss out on? And again, when the opportunity swings back around, people often say like, oh I missed RBR but I want to come to your next event. Like when’s your next event? RBR next year is our next event.


Stacey:             31:47 Like I just want to make it really, really clear and I know not everybody gets that because you guys see us doing five events a year. But here’s a thing just to give you an inside look at how our calendar works. In the summer, typically July, August we do Relationship Breakthrough Retreat, our three-day event that we’re talking about. And then in the fall we do an immersion event of a life-changing event. But it’s only for relation to abuse students. It’s a relationship you live event and in the winter we also do in January are a life changing transformative event. It’s only for relationship you students, it’s a relationship you life event and then in like April, March in the spring you see us go to a breakthrough in paradise, right where we do our five day immersion event in the Caribbean. It’s unbelievable. It’s unlike anything else. But you have to have either gone to Relationship Breakthrough Retreat or be in a relationship you in order to have a breakthrough in paradise.


Stacey:             32:40 It’s not an entry-level event. It’s designed for only students who have already mastered a certain level. You can’t just come to Breakthrough in Paradise. And that brings us back to the summer when we do Relationship Breakthrough Retreat. So just understand that if you miss relationship breakthrough retreat, your next opportunity is relationship breakthrough retreat a year later. So don’t miss that. Go to RelationshipBreakthroughRetreat.com and get in on the waitlist for RBR 2020 now, of course, you don’t have to wait for RBR next year. You can, of course, submit your application and apply to enroll in relationship U. We can drop the link to the application in the show notes. You can also go to relationship development.org forward slash programs to learn more about relationship u and click the link to fill out an application to maybe enroll in relationship u and then you can come to our next event or breakthrough in paradise or anything else that’s on our calendar, but in the meantime, Paul and I have prepared something super exclusive and special for you.


Stacey:             33:43 Actually, we’ve never done this before. Maybe you’re kicking yourself for missing the Relationship Breakthrough Retreat this year. We’ll do you want an exclusive sneak peek at some of the amazing content and solutions we delivered there over the next four podcasts. Paul and I are going to share some clips of us teaching live at RBR so you can get just a few of these life-changing tools and strategies. Don’t miss these episodes, right? These are the answers that you have wanted. If you got value from this podcast today, please take a screenshot of your phone, share it in social media, spread the word and remember, and together we are changing the way relationship is done.


Stacey:          34:30 Hey, would you like to get big results in your relationships in just 10 seconds a day? If so, then subscribe to our daily inspiration for relationship transformers or the D.I.R.T at MartinoPodcast.com/Dirt.


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